There are many ways to insult someone’s intelligence. My personal favorite is to answer a dumb question with a lie. Not a sarcastic answer, a total fabrication of truth. I like to see how long it takes for this person to find out the truth. I know that when they do, they will remember the lie I told them, and that is where my gratification comes in. This is, of course, only if I don’t like the person asking the dumb question. It’s never good to lie, unless you really don’t like the person you’re lying to. Then it is only moderately unacceptable.
I am not a sweet, innocent baby. I am an adult woman who is very naughty at times.
Another way to insult someone’s intelligence is to call them inappropriate pet names. Pet names are things you call your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, kids, pets, etc. Sometimes, this extends across the boundaries of blood relation and into close family friends. Words like “honey,” “sweetie,” “baby,” etc. For instance, I see some really kind celebrities on Twitter call their fans by these pet names and I do not think that is inappropriate. Pet names can indicate a presence of affection for the person being called one by the person dubbing them “baby” or “sweetie.” It can be very endearing to call someone a pet name or to be called a pet name. It kind of makes people purr sometimes.
Times it is inappropriate are when you are at work or talking to someone you don’t know well. It’s almost like this person is, in a roundabout way, putting you down by calling you something usually reserved for someone you know well at the very least. Not only is it inappropriate, but it can be grounds for a sexual harassment lawsuit if a boss calls a subordinate “sweetie.” Unless, of course, your office is not keen on sexual harassment laws and has very different policies in place, in which case it probably is not an office at all and is either a brothel or strip club. This blog does not apply to those folks.
Instead, I am trying to appeal to the person who is constantly patronized by an extremely annoying, overly affectionate stranger. The person who tries to insult your intelligence by calling you “baby” all the time instead of using your first name, as would be done if said annoying stranger had any amount of couth at all. Usually, these strangers think that by calling you “baby” or “sweetie” you will be like putty in their hands, and the saddest part is that most people fall for that, empowering these idiots who never learned how to properly address other people.
The next time I am confronted by one of these strangers who have trouble pronouncing my first name (which is incredibly simple to do; by the way), I am going to call them what they deserve to be called, which is “Grandma.” The reason I say “Grandma” is because 90% of the time, these strangers are female (with severe inferiority complexes) and the 10% of strange men who do this are usually too creepy to even continue talking to. Yes, the fakeness is just nauseating. Don’t call me “baby” if you don’t know me and are not having sex with me, unless you want me to (affectionately) call you “Grandma” or “Granny.”
